Urge to Write

It seems increasingly common that the urge to write strikes me in the middle of the night, while I'm lying in bed, pondering before I fall asleep. I should be sleeping and I'm gonna regret not going to bed now tomorrow, but we have all subs all day, so it shouldn't be too hard. My grades have been slipping. Not enough that it matters, but enough that I noticed it. It obviously has partly to do with the amount of time I spend on video games. I don't play obsessively, but I do play when I'm bored, which is often during the week. But the real reason that I'm not doing as well as I used to is that I don't care as much as I used to. From the talks that they gave in middle school, I expected to be pushed to 110% of my intellectual capacity by high school. I was very wrong. Not to sound unmodest, but nothing in school is challanging. Even the projects aren't hard, but tedious and mostly boring. In middle school, I did what Nikhi and Scott still do: I gave 110% of my effort to school. Now, I'm finding that it's less and less important to me. High school is useless except on the basis of getting into a college and learning social skills. Of course, life is feeling pretty worthless to me right now, so who knows? We're born, we live, and then we die. I wish I could believe in a religion: it would be comforting to have a reason for being here. But I can't just force myself to believe something without proof of any sort. That's not the point of this post. Anyway, I'm going to bed. I'll try to explain my half-assed ramblings tomorrow, when I can understand them myself.