Over Her?

Today's a good day. I have no homework due tomorrow and, although I'm gonna regret this when I have to do all my projects in one day, I'm gonna take the day off. So I decided to blog. I just realized that tomorrow is the two month anniversary of Carmi and my breakup. We both made some mistakes. If you're reading this, Carmi, I'd like to apologize for continuing to contact you after you asked me not to. I just wanted (and still want) answers. Perhaps some day I'll understand what happened and why it did. But for now, I suppose I'll just have to deal with not knowing. I think I'm finally getting over Carmi. When I fall asleep, I don't dream of her holding me. When I see her in the hallway, I don't want to run over and hug her. I can't help remembering how it felt to hold her and kiss her while we were together, nor stop myself from imagining how my life would be different if July 28th had never happened. When I look at her, I still think she's moderately attractive. Until my eyes reach her face. Whenever I'm near her, she always has the expression of trying to ignore me, of knowing that I'm there but pretending that I'm not. It makes her look ugly and selfish. If she would only look at me and smile, not a special smile but just the kind of smile that you would give any random person, then I would be happy. I want to be treated like an ordinary person, not like a piece of dirt that you can't get rid of, so you just ignore in the hope it will go away. But I can remember when she looked at me with something special in her eye. I can remember when she told me that she loved me. Some day she will hold another boy close to her heart. I hope, for her sake, that he is a good one. And I hope, for his sake, that she realizes it.
*EDIT* P.E. I typed that whole thing over like 1/2 an hour, so it might be a tad jumbled. I also forgot to thank Annie for giving me a shoulder to cry on. Having people who are willing to hear you out makes getting over a broken heart so much easier. */EDIT*