Scream

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Okay, I needed to scream and I figured my blog was as good a place as any. Going to school and seeing Carmi again has awoken feelings that I thought were, if not gone for good, then at least buried deep enough that I wouldn't have to feel them for a while. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about her, other times I can barely remember her. And other times I just feel like I'm in shock. Not two months ago, she was kissing me and laughing with me and smiling at me and talking to me and ... you get the picture. It was all just so sudden. Now she won't even look at me. I want her to at least talk to me. I don't feel (very) bitter anymore. I can forgive her for what she did (calling the cops). I'll never trust her again, but I wish she wouldn't just ignore me. I don't get it. I understand logically what MIGHT have triggered our breakup, but why was it such a big deal? I don't know, I've asked these question a dozen times on this blog and a billion times in my head. I cared about her (and still do, to some extent), so what happened? Like the Beatles say, all you really need is love. Well, all you should really need.