Quotes

As you all know, the original Alloscomp is dead. I decided to point www.alloscomp.com directly at my ip (24.209.244.5). This means that if the IP changes, alloscomp.com won't work until I fix it. If you notice that alloscomp.com is down, try http://alloscomp.servehttp.com. If that doesn't work, wait ten minutes and try again: my computer might have crashed. Well anyway, my quotes list was on Alloscomp, so I thought I had lost it. But then I realized that I had copied the files to my iPaq right before Alloscomp crashed. I decided to post them here, just in case anybody cared, and to preserve them.

Cool Quotes List

"He wanted to protect the innocent, and separate the darkness from the light. But he didn't realize the light only shines in the dark, and sometimes innocence is just an excuse for the guilty."
~Maj. Kira Nerys, Star Trek DS9

"Some Days It's A Good Day To Die, Some Days It's A Good Day to Have Breakfast."
~Thomas Builds the Fire, Smoke Signals

"I came from a world where the people believed that the opposite of war was peace. We found out the hard way that the opposite of war is more often slavery. And that strength, strength alone, can support freedom."
~Captain Apollo, Battlestar Galactica

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul."
"One Ring to Rule them all, One Ring to Find them. One Ring to Bring them all, and in the Darkness Bind them."

"Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam." "It is a good day to die!"

"When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout."
-Robert Heinlein in The Cat Who Walks Through Walls

"I wasn't insulting you, an insult would be this: you piece of crap. [T]hat is a prime example of an insult."
-Bulzeeb15

"Trying to make bits uncopyable is like trying to make water not wet."
-Bruce Schneier

"Only on Slashdot would you find someone arguing against 'water is wet.'"
-Ted

"You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem."
-Edwards Law

"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result."
-E. B. White

"There is no spoon."
-Spoon Bender from The Matrix

"Shoot their head off while they are on the ground. They will not get back up."
-Halo Suggestions for Killing the Flood

"Russell heads directly TOWARDS THE SCHISM."
-Independence Day Script

"Yum yum! Colonel Sanders!"
-Mr. Theisen

"Whoa your stupid" <-- I possess a stupid?
-Scott

"It won't blow up, that's for sure."
-Eric (ME)

"The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination."
-Garak (More Garak Quotes)

"Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest."
-Alexandre Dumas

"You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun."
-Al Capone

"Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge."
-Scott Adams

"Eh, good thing that food nipple's waiting for me at the starship cause, mah whoo, if I worked up a big grunty thirst!"
-Random Grunt

"Betcha can't stick it, Master Chief"
-Cortana

"Can't... Run... With... Thing... On... Back... *whimpers*"
-Random Grunt

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-Groucho Marx

"You always got a bad feelin' about everythang..."
-Sergeant A.J. Johnson

"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet."
-Dave Barry (More Dave Barry Quotes)

"We're all in this alone."
-Lily Tomlin (More Lily Tomlin Quotes)

"Through war we will teach your heresy. Through battle we will teach your frailty. Through death we will teach your fate."
-Unknown

Grunt A: "Me have bad feeling about this!"
Grunt B: "You always have bad feeling. You had bad feeling about morning Food Nipple."

"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."
-Robert Heinlein

Dave Barry Quotes

"Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face."

"Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking."

"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing."

"We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it."

"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."

"Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent."

Lily Tomlin Quotes

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat."

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."

Garak Quotes

Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!
Garak: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.

Bashir: So of the stories you told me, which ones were true?
Garak: My dear doctor, all of them were true.
Bashir: What about the lies?
Garak: Especially the lies.

(Bashir tells the story of the boy who cried "Wolf")
Bashir: If you lie all the time, no one is going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth.
Garak: Are you sure that's the point, Doctor?
Bashir: Of course. What else would it be?
Garak: That you should never tell the same lie twice.

Worf, referring to Garak: At the first sign of betrayal I will kill him, but I promise to return the body intact.
Sisko: I assume that's a joke.
Worf: We will see.

Garak to a Jem'Hadar: Ah, are we glad to see you! Could you point us in the direction of the wormhole?

Odo: You'd shoot a man in the back?
Garak: It's the safest way, isn't it?

Garak: I am no more a spy than you are...
Bashir: ...a doctor.

Garak: I believe in coincidence. Coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences.

Garak, on a clearance code he wasn't supposed to know: Oh, it's just something I overheard while hemming someone's trousers.

Garak's impression of Bashir's Bond lifestyle: I think I joined the wrong intelligence service.

Garak: Doctor, did anyone ever tell you that you are an infuriating pest?
Bashir: Chief O'Brien, all the time, and I don't pay any attention to him, either.